twotime.

you get lazy or you find interest in something else. those are the only two reasons i can think of as to why things are going the way they are for me right now. who cares if life has its priorities. i wont let myself fall in this because i know how important it is to me, and i know how hard i work.. and its time to work.

acting, thinking, planning...doing?

plans. everyone has plans for themselves for the future whether theyre lifelong dreams set to lay in the desires of their heart or just a meander of their thoughts of 'what should i do tomorrow?' either way, i'm assuming that most people these days dont have the push to do what they want because they could be thinking that they have other days to do it. what if those other days disappear? what if you wait too long to get something done?

half the time people dont get things done because they know they can do things later. they know for sure that time will be waiting for them to get up and search for a job, take time out to do laundry that should have been done a week ago, or walk to the kitchen to grab a cold glass of water from the fridge to quench your thirst. am i sounding negative in any way? i really dont mean to.

lately i usually blog when something big is on my mind. and as much as id like to elaborate on it, i try to talk about little things first. all ive ever done was wait for the last minute to get things done. sometimes not the very last minute, but there are times where ive been disappointed to see that i couldnt get a good outcome because of how long ive waited. and its weird because i know what its like to do what you have to do and triumph in the end. i like being responsible, i like being ahead, i like being on top of my game.

i think im just scared. scared of struggle, scared of failure and scared of major disappointment. that's what everyone goes through right? and im talking about those that really sacrifice things in order to succeed and obtain what they want so bad. but its true. im scared to struggle because i know i will. im scared to worry because i'll be worrying everyday. im scared of not trying hard enough and im scared of giving up because i really don't want to fall into that. especially with a major move. even if i didn't have any support, i need to keep perseverance with me at all times. i need to keep striving and keep fighting.

ive thought and thought and realized that there are holes in my plans; things that are essential, things that i need, things that i know for sure ill lose if i go through with it.. they key is to look ahead at all times and hope for the better..

often, people act upon a recent occurrance that could have changed their mindset on everything. something out of our hands, or just a mistake we've made. many times theyre reality checks to get up and get a move on! and those reality checks are really realizations for us to know what we really want in life and how bad we want them. i really hate disappointment, so why not push? push because we're supposed to enjoy everything to its full extent right? we get tired, but i dont want to look back like i have been and constantly keep telling myself that i should have done this or that.

at this difficult time we're in, decisions are vital. and what a situation this is but later on ill know i wasnt i failure to myself. i need to keep living and look at the brightside.. because the brightside isnt always there. God is there, so i know ill be safe and living for happiness.. living for the right reasons. please continue to guide me because ill be coming back for You.

enjoy the life you live while youre waiting for the right things to come along.

the thing to do

sometimes i wonder if i do something because its the right thing to do. or do i do the right thing because i want to? or do i do the right thing just because i know its the right thing to do and i should do it?


just dumb thoughts. ruins things sometimes..

new semester

i haven't blogged since who knows when. too many things to blog about, all worth blogging but at the same time just hasnt hit me hard enough to want to blog.

knowing myself i always have days(you can say everyday) where i end up being alone and just think a lot. i think about everything going on in my life and the goals and desires of my heart that i feel one day i can accomplish and reach. everything is within grasp but none of it matters. i feel like the most important aspect of aquiring your dreams is how you get there. nothing feels better than knowing how hard you worked for something. sometimes those things may not even seem that big or that important once its obtained. its funny. and im sure that has happened to just about everyone, but i hope it doesn't discourage any future chases through life.

my point being: a new semester of college has just begin for me and classes are extremely tough to get. i have to add almost all my classes and every single one i need is full. priority registration dates are the utmost important - that being said i unfortunately am not one of the lucky handful that has priority registration. so, now i have to fight and keep striving til i get a decent schedule. we can't be picky because the dayyyuuummm economy of ours. we have to take what we can get whether we like it or not. it sucks, but theres always a way through things.

don't you find it interesting that the people around you aren't always what they are sought out to be? i know ive had some problems with people before that may think that about me but even when i think about people that i haven't had problems with, theres this shell that is somehow waiting to get cracked open to reveal something you've never seen before. one little pebble thrown in their path to make them curve and they are a whole different person. the things people care about, the things they prioritize, the things they will act different about and will be selfish or kind..i can go on for days but the desires of peoples hearts can show a lot about them. if anyone gets greedy it can ruin a lot of relationships they have with anyone.

life is weird. im just waiting to get my thoughts out but time + a busy schedule hasn't allowed me to do so within these past months. ive lost my relationship with God in someway and im itching to get it back.

i hope everything turns out the way they should. and like michelles new tattoo(oOoooohh) says, 'everything falls into place' ..holla back.




love.

what's going on?

this past weekend...i dont know what to make of some of it.

it didnt start off too well but turned into i dont know what. i hung out with old friends this whole weekend and ive really missed them. bien, who is probably my first best guy friend lives in nevada and i haven't seen him in like 4 years! ive missed you man.

anyway, the situations i get myself into..sometimes i dont know why i let them go as far they shouldn't. temptation leads into trouble, big time. who knows what could have happened if i kept going. honestly if i didn't know any better and hadn't had any teachings from the Word, i wouldn't have had any wisdom to stop and to know what was right. this was a very big challenge for me. and it will be. but after rehearsal tonight i think i know what i want. im a confusing and evasive person and i go back and forth all the time, but once something is in my sight, something ive wanted so much for awhile now, i always realize so many things. ugh fml. we're all human.

cutting to school...i took modern for about 3 weeks during summer school and im really sad its over. it felt so refreshing to take something other than hiphop. every time i went, it felt like a breath of fresh air. Luana, my dance teacher was so awesome that im thinking of taking it again. dont get me wrong i was completely lost in the class hahaha, but i loved every minute of it. no wonder its so good to explore outside your box. you really never know the things youre missing out on. also, my mission reappeared this summer, and im gonna try it out. halfway through i thought it disappeared and i got really upset but its not over yet! i actually cant wait til summer school is over.

yesterday jason and mallari really made my day. after meeting me up at work we went to go get some food that jason paid for and headed over to his house to watch the knowing, unknowing..unknown...i forget. it was a pretty good movie except i didnt like the ending much. anyway they made me a really cute brownie cake with sprinkles and omg it was just the sweetest thing. they really didn't have to. it really touched my heart lol. i already knew they were sorry. sorry for something that i got over pretty fast but its the thought that counts. it made me love them even more! =D the funny thing is, jasons two attempts at telling me that his parents were asking if i wanted dessert didnt work at all. haha but im glad you tried lol.

i think this ones really cute.

but i think this ones my favorite pic :)

__________


why must i have to think about this over and over and over again when i know what i have to do? like i said, when i know what i want and i realize so many things? ive suddenly lost a great deal of respect. not all of it, but a good portion. i dont know what to do anymore. this weekend will take me away for sure. im gonna make the most of it and think about whats right in front of me because ive missed it for awhile now. *stay with me just please stay with me..then everything else can go away..

another day of school tomorrow and then i get to hang out with ryan, b-ry and head off to work while i miss rehearsal hahah gay! im done thinking. i shall continue later.




love.

get up and get it

what in the world is stopping me from striving to get what i want? every time i read other ppls blogs stating that they will get theirs and they have all these goals i think, 'wow thats really awesome of them' but why can't i do that for myself? i can't seem to find the motivation to work harder. ive experienced before that hard work pays off..it really does. it takes time and effort and i really dont know how i can push myself to just get up and go for it. it really frustrates me. i could say that i have other priorities that get in the way but people struggle everyday through numerous things..that are even worse than what i have to go through! what in the world is it?

there are just so many factors that i can't even begin to list that i am already worrying about. what i keep forgetting is that things come and go..all these little dilemmas aren't as bad as they seem because they can easily be taken care of. im so lost right now i really don't know where to go or what to do. for some reason, i've heard so many people say 'you can get it if you want it bad enough' but never really stuck in my head until dmoe said it to me. and why do i believe it when he says it? anyone could have said that to me. but i guess he's the first person ive seen who hasnt bullshitted through anything and that is truly sincere about everything he does. i hate to say this but i think im just looking for short cuts in life when there really aren't any. at all. i know lots of people are like that too. maybe im just scared of the real world i am living in. right now all i can do is turn to prayer and have God really kick my butt and tell me to get up and do something!! i need a sign God, i need a sign. i need multiple constant signs that tell me not to give up.

right now things are heartbreaking, and i am overwhelmed with worry. things at home..are not exactly how i would like it to be. school is getting there..i really hope i get that financial aid check. work...i don't even know about work. i don't know if i should go back to work that i dread at the bookstore(as much as i do love little kids), or if i should seek out something new. as far as i know i might not even have a choice; i might have to go back. but we'll see. dancing..will always be questioned. as far as people go, we are who we are. im tired of watching out for myself even though i know im not doing anything wrong, but i feel like im constantly being watched and judged for the dumbest reasons. i hope after this summer, things will reach a level to where i wont be as worried about things, where i wont be as agitated, where i can just pick up where i left off and follow through with things smoothly. you know thats not gonna happen as there are things that unexpectingly are going to occur, and you feel like you're f/cked! its not the end of the world. i am young, and i just need some motivation.

recital is tomorrow and the day after that. im hoping to burn off some of this stress cus i can really feel it in my body right now. it wont go away i feel like smoking or something. okay that is so not something i will ever do but damn! you know. this blog is pretty depressing for me. ha.




love.

mission in tact

I don't know if my mission from last semester is as important for me to try and play out this summer semester, but i'd have to say im still intrigued. As i was walking towards my car this morning to go home from class that i absolutely cannot stay awake in, my mission had reawakened. haha! so there goes that.

so here i go again figuring out my major. i know ive told some what i wanted to do, but i think theres more to what i want. i hate being indecisive, but thats just how ive always been. im only that way because i want the best for me, and i hate settling for less; settling especially if it considers a long term effect..possibly lifetime.

we got 2nd at BodyRock, what's new. Not that im not happy about it(because im not lol), but cmaaannn people! its whatever. that whole trip was whatever but i did have a portion of fun. saturday night was hectic as everyone was super faded, super crazy, super disappearing..ah yi yi. i did get to take lots and lots of pictures! theyre up on fb.

starting summer school this past monday was such a drag. i personally have never attended summer school in my entire life up until now. not to mention that i am soooo NOT a morning person whatsoever. pat once said that its funny cus in elementary school up until college kids go to summer school to get smarter and get ahead, but in college its almost like catching up. for the most part its true but at the same time its a little bit weird to think about. if you think about it we have all the time in the world to get things done, but then agian we dont. people always say live your life while you can, but work hard while youre young to have a better future...dangit which way do i go? is there really such thing as a happy medium? there are always things to ponder and to contemplate about. there is always something to desire because once you reach your dreams, where do you go from there? it would be kind of weird to settle wouldn't it? no one stays content for long. i feel like life is a constant struggle, constant decisions, constant change.

there are constant issues everyone has to deal with and you can only be happy for so long. but that's how you grow as a person right? i could get into it, but i won't. life is about how you personally react to it, and the moments that come and go will stay there forever. that's why fights, arguments...its really not worth it. its really hard to believe that there are people out there that won't change and won't give in because they are too prideful of themselves and they think whatever they do is the right way to go. no matter how good of a person you are, if you don't surrender where is the growth in that? it doesnt even matter if youre right, its how you deal with your situations is whats important. this is actually making me a little angry so im gonna stop here.

recital is this weekend and after that, what dancing is next? i better go find something to do. ha.




love.

one more final..

and then i get summer vacay for two weeks! LOL. gahh getting up for summer school is gonna suck. i have one more final tonight which is all multiple choice. im kind of terrible at it and hoooolllyyyyyyyy i completely forgot i dont have a scantron to use gahhh fml right now. i dont know if i have any extras but i guess i gotta cut it here and go to the student store to go get some. update later.

::EDIT::

so my last final was a breeze.. sorta. lol it was only 50 questions! this whole semester our tests have been 40 questions and a short essay and how fortunate that my final turned out to be just 50 questions.

**11:11!!

yesterday was the longest day. i got up early to go to church with the twinsies and their mom - who by the way is freakin awesome and hilarious - and i didn't get to experience the whole shabang like i wanted to. if you've never been to Jubilee in San Jose it is the coolest place. especially if you're a youth. before and after service they have video games, a pool table, basketball courts, ipod listening stations, a big screen just for rock band, a tiny room for laptop stations, a place to just kick it and session, a snack bar.. dude, that place has everything! I wish i took pictures.. but the kids wouldve probably thought i was weird. There's 3 services: the main one for adults, the youth, and the little kids. I ended up going to the youth service with caitlin and kj and didn't really get the full experience. So i wanna go back and see what its like in the main building. After service i went to go check out the bigger building with subes and its like the building where bodyrock's gonna be..except i think bodyrock might be bigger. O_O i guess we'll see if i get to go again.

so dancing is gonna irritate me for the next two weeks. yesterday i was secretly irritated but i guess i have no reason to be, right? when im tired i don't really like talking and end up being quiet and sometimes really serious. it was actually a little fun yesterday. we got to the workshop late cus service ended around 1 and it takes about 30-45 minutes to get to the city from san jo. and then there are stops to get food or snacks..and contact solution LOL. so that takes time too haha. pat held a great class that challenged me more than i thought. i really like it when i can get into character and emphasize it a bit in my dancing. it makes it reallllyyy fun for me. i think what i like most about getting into character is when i have to do something i dont know how to do...then when im able to discover how to do it and know that it looks right, it feels GREAT!! ohh man. seriously. its like working on solving a difficult math problem..except i really hate math.

tomorrow sparks the awakening of my two weeks of summer. i better make use of my time! shoo. I hate waking up in the middle of the day and realizing i just wasted half my day. anyone agree? ............see! thank you. im really hoping there will be sunny days that way i can go to the beach and get at least a little tanned before we go to san diego. sunshine where are youuuusss?!?! guys lets go to great america!!

wobbleton and ms. iggnant alexis will be here this weekend for the TM workshop being held at City Dance in the city..i don't really feel like taking class, as to i can't afford it anyway, but i really really really wanna see wobz. i haven't seen her in a really really long time and it makes me sad cus i used to see her a lot considering she lives all the way in Corona.. socal ppl, socal. haha jaykay. i dont think there will be blogging from me for awhile..unless something exciting happens to me and i feel the need to share or lay out my thoughts.




Love.

better but challenging days

i've been having better days. its funny cus as days get better you know they arent gonna last that long. but being optimistic is the freakin way to go. i can't remember the last time i blogged - probably a couple of days ago - but i feel like its been awhile. *okay i just checked and it was yesterday LOL.

anywayyy, we've been celebrating for pats bday cus he just has to be so dayum special. Thursday was a really long rehearsal day(which is when i last blogged)..we were drained by the end of that cleaning cus it was so long but it was followed by a pretty good conversation with subes. didn't realize how long i was talking.. keyword i lol jaykay. he looked like he was about to pass out in the car though..i must be that boring. NOT! LOL okay just kidding on that one. anyway last night there was a last minute party at stacey's apartment. no longer will we have the privilege to party and hang out over there in SJ after sessions or partying. i got chris' text late to bum a ride but i ended up driving with dez, drew and jon carian which i haven't seen in fo' evahhh! i really really didn't wanna drive cus 1. my car needs an oil change, baaaddlyyyy 2. my tires have been dying to be changed for quite some time. especially my right front tire. i could hear them crying from siberia. poor babies. i don't take care of my car as much as i should be. its actually really hard!! i dont deserve that car but nor did i ask to have it. eh, life goes on. we got home at 6 in the mo'nin and i freakin knocked out when i got to my bed. my sleeping pattern is gonna be messed up up until i start summer school.

Speaking of summer school.. my college success teacher signed us up for classes in the summer so that we'd automatically get enrolled. its gonna be hard times cus there have been serious budget cuts from school. i have a terrible time doing well in school if my teachers are wack. my point being, i just looked up the professor i was signed up for and i got a freakin good teacher!! im super excited nowww. what im not excited about is the 8AM call time EVERYDAY. i am not a morning person whatsoever. i will freakin try my best though. go aggie!!

tonight no one really showed up for rehearsal. well there was a good amount but not everyone who needed to be there was there. we ended up watching UP instead! its such a cute and sad movie and the little fat kid Russel was thee cutest thing everrrr!!! Pat however was annoyed!! How?! I think i have a soft spot for cute little fat kids cus my younger brother has been fat all his life. LOL i know in a sense that's a little mean to say, but when youre young, cute and chubby all around, you cant help but be adored.

one important thing i want to talk about is my faith. i know its not as strong as it should be, or as it could be but on my way home with my mom tonight sparked something i thought would never happen. tomorrow, im going to church with the twinsies caitlin and kj, and their family. its a church called Jubilee which i heard from numerous people that its freakin awesome. i can't wait! so i told my mom about it and asked her if she knew of any christian churches. all of a sudden she started attacking me about going to a christian church and about converting. let me tell you that i can't remember the last time i've been so defensive. ive read in my bible before that there may come a time where you will fight with your parents about this. i just never thought it would happen! or happen any time soon at that! man was i heated! its gonna take some time but what she doesn't understand is that i am in love with God no matter what, and that i am firm with my faith. its what kept me going strong through all the tough times ive had to face. there is absolutely nothing wrong with being born-again and she will never know what the love of God can do for you until you experience it yourself. she acts like im about to worship satan or something. ive never felt so in touch with my faith and one day i will show her how bomb Jesus really is. everyone has their different opinions and in mine, there is no better way than God's way. we are all stubborn in our beliefs because we want to believe what we want to believe. we want to have our own way in things, we want to follow our own decided paths. if anything, if you can't surrender a little bit to God, at least try surrendering something you are uncomfortable with..maybe something outside of your comfort zone and you will realize its really not that bad. we don't give in because we are scared of change. but what i learned is that if you have faith and are accepting of whatever outcomes may occur, life wont be as hard as you make it to be. everything i say is the truth. just believe it cus i get it from thee truth.

i know that was a lot, but i couldn't help it.


tomorrow is company's 5th workshop. i hope it will be a good turnout. prices are down from $45 to $35. and single classes are $15 as opposed to $20. i know we're expensive, but we're worth it. im not sure if ill be able to attend because of conflicting times with service but im definitely gonna try to catch the last two if not last class. then rehearsal all night into the wee hours of the morning woopwoop! xP




Love.

breathe..

i need time to breathe and to get it out of my system. i got it out of my system alright. 3 constant days of tears, 4 constant days of verbal vomit. we'll see what happens later on but for now i think im slowly getting better. i hate letting the stature of my sadness and anger get the best of me and i am better than that. theres a lot that people don't know but im glad that the ones that do know whats going on are there for me no matter what. this situation will unfold and i hope in due time - as hard as its going to be - will work out for the better. i love you mom.




Love.




i'd like to thank those for your time and continuous care about me..especially the big guy up there. what would i ever do without You? you all really don't have to but you do. you guys are tha bam.

...

i will say this once, and only once..



FUCK the philippines and everything about it. i knew it right from the start. i freakin knew it. i really don't want you to come back after all you've done.




no Love this time.

little recap

this is gonna be a short blog because i told christian i'd blog at least a little bit. i havent updated in awhile because i wanted to blog until after all my finals were over. i still have one more to go, next monday, June 1st.

just to explain to everyone why its so late, i have a class every monday night at CSM. and since there's no school tomorrow, they moved it to next monday. whoopie. just when i thought the summer would begin..

this semester was actually a really good semester for me. i think it was the switching of the schools (sorta), and the schedule i had. tuesday/thursdays at City College and one night class on mondays at CSM.

highlights(not that there are that many):

-deciding last minute to go to ccsf
-registering late and having to walk in on allll the classes i wanted the first and second days of school(talk about stressful)
-not being able to get into probably half those classes due to my REALLY late registration date
-ending up with the best classes i've had in a longggg time
-deciding on a major(finally)

**pause..christian just called me to tell me the story of how him and his bff gayson came about matching today from head to toe..'that's how bffs roll' haha

getting back to the highlights..

-seeing this realllyy hott asian popstar looking guy all semester. oh man xD
-delivering a bomb group presentation that was worked on the day before..couldn't have done it without you joshie!! and thanks for bringing in lumpia during finals LOL
-staying up all night working on a paper not getting any sleep and finishing when it was time to get up and go to school cus it was due at 8AM. NEVER AGAIN xP


Q: song of the semester?
A: Girls - Se7en ft. Lil' Kim

just in case you didn't know, Se7en is a huge popstar in asia that is currently trying to make it in the US. It's gonna be hard, but i have faith! Shaun was actually the one that introduced that song to me cus he started working with him in LA. That song was bumpin' in my car just about every time i drove to school. it's a good song! i swear it is! even pat likes it lol. the video isnt that great though..it doesnt really match the song to me. and lil kim is just weird.

if i knew my grades maybe that would have been a highlight too. but i dont find out til later. also, there were more highlights than i thought hehe




Love.




p.s. wasn't that much of a short blog was it? it always ends up this way i swear..

MISSION...failed.

Well, kinda. I still have finals week. I'm gonna be at school pretty much everyday next week unless i can get my work done on time and just be there monday tuesday wednesday. MAN ive tried everyday i was at school and nada. It was either i got nothin or i was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. I swear i was ready! That really must mean something. Moving on..

Sac show this weekend. It's whatever. Pat if you're reading this, there's free rollerskating after the show. Can we please go?? Maybe?? I know we have rehearsal the next day but the thing is from 11-2. If not then its ok. Marien and i really wanna go cus the time we all went for Chris' birthday was sooo much fun!! Right? Shoo i had fun..

Anyway, you know that link at the top of people's blog that says, 'Next Blog>>' ..i always click on that cus it takes me to random people's blogs and i find some that are in different languages sometimes and some i find really interesting. The one i was forwarded to before blogging here was a blog that had all the Simpsons seasons available for download. Actually that blog has got all kindsa junk on there. It's one of those foreign blogs i mentioned so i wonder if theyre even in english. That's kinda risky but my point is dizzaanngggg they're already on Season 20??? O_O That's hella seasons bro. I bet you've seen all of em Mike. Beeteedubb, way to go on that real estate thangalang you got goin on. I'm really happy for you and can't wait til you are at the top cus i know you can do it.

I heard Star Trek was good. Like, hella good. Somewhere up there. I can't wait to watch it. The end.

I freakin wanna practice inside already. I say people save a dollar a day and give what you have every practice. Or give what you can..it'll count for something! Maybe then pat will change his mind a little.................................................... -_-

I think that's all i got for now. I don't blog too often cus i don't want my blogs getting all redundant with you knowing already what i'm probably gonna talk about.

I haven't captured any pictures lately with my amazing photography skills(not) so i got nothin for you folks this time. This weekend for sure i'll be sure to have some. Ugh i wanna go to the Epik High concert tomorrow with kylie but i guess i can't. Booty.

At company today we casted for Subi's. When it comes to him you can't just practice and practice. I really am not referring to anyone in particular but i feel like he's the type of person you need to understand first before trying to do his stuff. That's why when we first learned it i was frustrated as hell and felt freakin depressed like i was taking crazy pills. Shout out to my dawg Will Ferrell. I just think we need to be believable when it comes to him and to everything we do. Not that i'm saying i got it down but it takes time to figure out what is being said..or what you can comprehend from it. Oh well, whatever. Oh and shout out to Drew and Ryan.. I'm excited to hang out and watch the movie on Saturday. 'D - Ridin` ain't ma thang' ..you guys are the best. No lie homies.

I mentioned a crapload of things..random things. Well, not really. My mind tends to connect random things together to make sense in a way. HA actually i think this is the way i think sometimes..




Love.

countdown to what i dont want to count down

I feel like my last blog wasn't interesting enough to read. But oh well. My blogs are supposed to be meant for things i feel like writing about not to entertain..but they could be! Haha.

Okay. Now, are we ever gonna practice inside the studio? I caught a dumb fever from thursday and unfortunately had to miss treezy's birthday cus it was just all bad. Today i had to drive mi madre to my cousin's surprise baby shower which was fun, but i soo wasnt feelin it. We watched about 3 movies while all my aunties were playing bingo. I was just like, dayum they really can play bingo for that long?!?! xP We watched The Uninvited(uhh, okay.) Seven Pounds(that movie was i dunno..sad and weird. kind of intense) and Marley & Me(cute, but i didnt get to finish it). I did however, eat lots of good food and got to play with the cutest little kids!!

As you all know, i freakin don't want school to end. Kylieee!! Ugh, i have one more mission to seek out and ive been trying to get it done but ive been missing the chance every time ive tried the past two weeks! I really think God doesn't want me to get it done, I really do. It's terribly upsetting me and gahh please? Okay, if there's something better out there or something to happen later on i will acknowledge that. Maybe im being stubborn. I did have all semester though. Man, fml. But really, pleeeeeease? 2 more school days til finals.

Tuesday I drove to SJ with pat and mallarki. We sessioned a bit, ran over some stuff and ate at Denny's after.. then pat drove my car home. I tried playing summa dat Kpop of mine(BigBang yeeuhh!!), but i don't think he enjoyed it very much haha. "this isn't in english!" well yeah it's not english! I tried singing along even though i didn't know the exact lyrics, and all i got was a weird look. Haha oh well. Gotta love that kpop tho feemee.

Going back to school, on Thursday i had a group presentation that we all worked on the day before. I skipped my english class right before to meet up with groupmates to work on it. We were presenting on writing and speaking. I'd have to say we did pretty well. Actually really well. I even took some pictures of us sitting around in the hall. I thought about it and out of all the pictures im now taking, ive never really taken any outside of dance. And since i like being at school i thought, why not?

This blog is kinda long. I think i'll end it here since i reflected on pretty much what ive been wanting to. I hope tomorrow I feel a lot better. If not im gonna have to miss rehearsal at night. Weak.



Couple of pics from today's baby shower:

damn they got hella stuff..

@ City:

hella big monitor.

Pictures from the fight(from the last blog):

auntie's house

Gina and her coke bottle

yeeuhh

Gina Lauren Me Carlyne Treez

Chris and Pat's mom LOL

more girlss: car lauren marien dez me

niize.

neon boy

lauren car mallari

marien

chris and his attempt at a sex face

what?

Today's Mother's Day. I don't know what to do for my mom but she definitely deserves something special. I love her soooo much and everyone should at least say happy mother's day to their moms. They did have to go through all that pain to give birth to you. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there! People, treat cha mamas right. They deserve all the love in the world.




Love.

conversations

Ive been having good conversations with people lately. Specifically people i really look up to. Some even ended up making me cry. But what was best about these conversations was that they naturally happened. it was either a question i happened to ask or if i just sat down and started conversing. i actually think thats the best way to start a relationship with someone. nothing forced or trying too hard. i feel that correlates with God's timing. especially if you want something so soo bad and you're patient enough to wait for it, it's all the more rewarding don't you think? and when you know you're fighting for it at the same time and persevering til the end.. yeah, yannoe.

on another note, PAY YOUR DAMN TUITION, PEOPLE! arent you gonna feel guilty once someone gets really sick cus we have to be out there in the effin rain like today? im not about to get that dayummm swine flu cus you guys cant afford to say no to a caramel regalado strawberry frap with a shot of hazelnut. okay no, maybe not. but lauren's last name really does sound like a starbucks drink now that i put it that way haha. but if you could just skip out on like iono, two sessions of eating out at a restaurant? and if not that then an expensive pant leg that you think you absolutely have to have? i really do hope some of you feel guilty...whoever you are(i really dont know who needs to pay tuition). but still!! we have it good, and i really dont think most of us on the team think about that. =(

anyway, school is almost over. honestly, i really dont want the semester to end. i had really good teachers this time around and i actually enjoyed going to school. it was my first semester at city college and the atmosphere and classes were so much more enjoyable for some reason. it felt really good. im hoping it will carry over to summer and fall. which reminds me, i still have papers to write and its 3AM. i have school at 9:30 tomorrow. this is gonna suck. what to do what to do... im gonna sleep LOL. well, after i revise my paper.

goodnight!




love.




p.s. before i forget and just so i remember when i look back, pacquiao won the fight against hatton in the 2nd round, ko'd the guy in under 3 minutes. crazy.

'SURRENDER' to Hello Kitty, NOW!

I got home from the studio about an hour ago and it was really frustrating. Almost kawawa status. I freakin hate that word but apparently treezy likes it haha. Anyway, ive been talking to shaun and pat about things and i feel like a newbie. Not someone who has just gotten into the scene or whatever you wanna call it but a newbie in dancing, in learning, in understanding. And let me tell you that feeling is horrible, but everything is so amazing to me right now. As weird as that may sound, im amazed with everything. Welcome to freakin shaun, pat, and dmoe's world. I think we always need to give them more credit than they deserve. Im not gonna get into it, but damn. What a struggle it is right now. And we're getting into Body Rock? This is gonna suck.

I was just online talking to shaun and he says the best way to grow is to surrender. And it's true! Why keep yourself in the same place because youre uncomfortable with something when keeping yourself where you are isn't gonna take you anywhere? It's like going in a circle and you're constantly facing disappointment.. hitting that wall you aren't gonna get over if you dont surrender and just let yourself be vulnerable, letting whatever it is beat you up so you can get back on your feet and fight it! Be sure however, to humble yourself after every encounter with achievement. That's equally as important as everything else thats in the package.

This goes for almost every aspect of life. Seriously. If you're in a relationship, if you're in a walk with God(it applies to this especially), if you're starting a career, when you're in school.. wooo, especially school. UGH just everything!! When you get over that wall though, i think most of us know the feeling is amazing. And to know you've persevered over something so challenging makes you give so much more respect to it.

__________

Today i left aiding(sorry pat) and lauren picked me up to go over her house with chris and carlyne to make Hello Kitty waffles!! We made them with chocolate chips and they were sooo delicious and sooo kawaiii!!! eeee!! Next time you're here shaun, i'll definitely make some for you. Im gonna go ask my mom to buy one for the house haha.

I'm pretty tired. I'll leave you guys with some pictures...i love posting up pictures! =D

HK waffle maker yayy!!

what the inside looks like

ingredients..

YUM!

Lauren's perfectly placed chocolate chips!

The huge pancake we made for pat...looks kinda gross

Carlyne x Lauren x Me

I want more waffles dangit!!




Love.




p.s. Yet another shout out to TK.. we were kickin it at the studio tonight and pat says its because of you that we're all wearing basketball shorts to dance in. That if it weren't for him seeing you wear it that one day at whatever workshop it was, he wouldn't have thought to wear them up here. haha dzayum TK, you're makin yourself famous in my blog without even trying! Shooo..